As many have recognized, married men with kids are more often hired -- because they're supposedly more stable -- and single women or women without kids are more frequently get the job. Understanding this, is it not so far of a jump to think that employers will always favor single women over married women, lest a reduced chance of a child coming into the picture?
There may be some truth to the benefits of workers not having families, regardless of gender. I know I have gotten promotions over both men and women with families, since I can fully dedicate myself to the office, working longer hours and weekends.
So, as I am interviewing for new jobs, I am encountering a few tough questions about my personal life, which may not put me in the best position.
The first one is usually about our move to L.A. It generally goes:
"Why did you move to Los Angeles?"
"We had been visiting frequently, and when an opportunity came up to move, we did it."
"So your last company moved here."
"Uh, my significant other took a job here."
"You mean your husband?"
Oy.
Other times, I just call him my "partner" rather than my "significant other." That throws some of the interviewers. Given I just moved from San Francisco and now live in a gay-friendly area of L.A., the big, 'ol lesbian question probably occurs to them. It's a good test of the employer too. I really don't want to work for someone who isn't gay tolerant.
Since I am in the online world, I also get asked whether I blog. That conversation usually sounds like:
"Do you blog?"
"Yes, I do."
"What do you blog about?"
"Well, I used to blog about prefab modern architecture. Now I blog about weddings."
"Why weddings?"
"Well, I have had to deal with some issues around my own."
Then I quickly add: "But the wedding is way off -- not until the end of 2009."
Sometimes I don't wear my engagement ring to interviews, but since there aren't any gemstones involved, I figured that most men, at least, won't really notice it.
Perhaps I should be more dishonest about the whole thing, telling them I moved here because I LOVE southern California. Maybe I should keep another blog that can tell employers about.
It's strange. While I feel I can honestly answer professional question smoothly, I am still grasping at how to answer the uncomfortable questions I receive about my personal life.